Quotes from The Thanksgiving Story
Syd: Are you okay?
Joanie: I'm nauseous. My stomach just tried to leave the building.
Cynthia: I had a dream about you last night.
Jim: Oh.
Cynthia: You were so naughty I almost ran over here to fill you in on all the deliciously sordid details.
Syd: She seems very nice.
John: Appearances are deceiving. Underneath those curls she is one tough mother.
Syd: Well, I'd put her up again my mom any day.
John: They say you can tell how a woman will turn out by meeting her maker.
Syd: Believe me, if you'd met Lynda, we wouldn't be talking right now.
Joanie: Rumor has it there was somebody around last night who looked like me but acted a little unhinged.
Joanie: Not a big fan of babies, huh?
Burt: Not when they're screaming.
Joanie: That's what they do. That's like their national past time.
Joanie: I've been sitting here for the last hour watching my life go by like the bad soap opera that it is. Y'know, the thing is, I feel like I've finally got my life back together, and... oh, if I have this kid it's like I'm back to square one.
Syd: So, you're thinking of not having the baby?
Joanie: Well, would that be so terrible? Other people do it all the time.
Syd: You're not other people.
Joanie: No, I'm Joanie Hansen, designated freakin' family disaster.
Joanie: And what about Hannah? Who's gonna give her the attention that she deserves while I'm busy raising a baby? Y'know, who's gonna explain to her that we have a very special family with two fathers, neither of whom live with us. Who's gonna explain to her what people call women like her mom?
Syd: Anchee, with the way you shop you are well on your way to becoming an official American girl.
Syd: It's not always like this.
Joanie: She's lying.
Jim: A feast shared is the only one worth having.
Joanie: I'm gonna have a baby.
Burt: Uh, actually, we're gonna have a baby.
Lynda: I've decided the only way to avoid another Thanksgiving disaster is to start planning early.
Syd: I object!
Lynda: To early planning?
Syd: No, to calling it a disaster. It was a perfectly nice holiday.
Lynda: Forgive me, but can we please get through one Thanksgiving without a homeless person?
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