Synopsis of The Phantom Menace
Written by TK
Syd is dreaming that she's on a '70s game show called "If she knew what she wants." She has to choose between three bachelors: Kyle in high school, Kyle the chauffeur, and Kyle the bitter amputee. She can't choose.
Syd is getting ready to go get Kyle from the hospital. She's nervous, and Joanie tells her to relax.
When Sydney arrives at Kyle's hospital room, Kyle is talking to Dan Freed, the agent of a shortstop named Ted Shannon that the Seadogs are trying to sign. Kyle asks Syd if she would do the physical exam on Ted Shannon since he has had a little history with alcohol and the Seadogs sort of have something against him for that and they'd like an impartial physician to do the exam. Syd says she'd be happy to help.
Robbie is sitting around the Barkery not being helpful at all as Joanie is cleaning up. Robbie comes up with the idea to put their father on access cable with his Pet Talk which would also give free advertising for the Barkery. Joanie wonders if Jim will do it, and Robbie says he thinks he can talk him into it by reminding Jim that he'd be helping dogs all over the state.
Kyle is packing his stuff in his hospital room with a beautiful woman who seem very physcially comfortable with him. Syd does an ahem at the door, and the two turn around. Kyle introduces Syd to Tracy, his occupational therapist. Syd starts to introduce herself as Kyle's girlfriend, but Kyle cuts her off and tells Tracy that he and Syd grew up together. Tracy offers to take Kyle home and help him unpack, but Kyle says thanks anyway, Syd will take him. Tracy trips off down the hallway, and Kyle immediately starts talking about signing Ted. He wants to get contracts over to Ted as soon as possible, because he thinks his agent, Dan, is stonewalling and maybe talking to other teams. As Kyle gets up off the bed he gets light-headed and has to sit down. Syd says he's in no condition to be working and really should just go home and go to bed. Kyle is anxious about the contract, so Syd says she'll take it over to Ted for him.
Joanie and Robbie a prepping Jim for the camera. He insists he's not going to have another anxiety attack, but they're worried anyway.
Syd goes to Ted's to drop off the contract. She's surprised by the squalor of the hallway she's walking down. When Ted comes to the door of his apartment, he's shirtless and obviously drunk. When he realizes that Syd is there for Kyle from the Seadogs, he tries to explain how he was just drinking Diet Coke and this blonde girl here was the one drinking the tequila. While protesting, he falls over something on the floor and cuts his arm. Syd looks at the cut and says that Ted is going to have to get stitches.
Jim is giving his Pet Talk in front of the camera. He's dry, slow, and boring, talking about cleaning dogs' ears. Joanie and Robbie and trying to figure out what happened to the magic of before, and think maybe Jim is better when he's anxious. Even the dogs are starting to fall asleep.
Joanie sneaks into the kitchen with Hannah. Syd asks her why she's sneaking and Joanie says she's trying to avoid Jim because he made her and Robbie watch his Pet Talk three times yesterday and she almost confessed war crimes it was such torture. Robbie sneaks in as well, also avoiding Jim. Joanie goes off to the Barkery, saying she's probably going to have to have a going out of business sale. Robbie asks Syd how Kyle is, and then wonders what happened to his arm after it was amputated. Syd asks Robbie about Ted Shannon. Robbie says he's a rising star, and has all the makings of a great major league baseball player: he loves booze, women and chewing tobacco.
Syd brings breakfast into Kyle's room. Kyle is having trouble shaving and cuts himself. Kyle thanks Syd for taking the contract over to Ted. Ted said he was in the Cape but found them in his mailbox when he got home. Syd tells Kyle that Ted was home and drunk when she got there. They argue over Ted's possible alcoholism. Kyle wants to overlook it because signing Ted could make his career and possibly get him into working in the majors. Tracy arrives and notices that Kyle had trouble shaving and says she'll take care of it. Syd starts to make the bed and Tracy says to leave it, she and Kyle will do it later since Kyle needs to relearn how to make his bed. Tracy asks Kyle where his homework is and Kyle says he didn't finish it because he was tired. Tracy says that's not a good enough excuse. Syd starts to defend Kyle to Tracy, saying that he just got out of the hospital and it seems like Tracy is working him too hard. Kyle is embarassed and tells Syd to leave it alone.
At the clinic, Syd sees Ted and checks on his cut. He apologizes for his earlier behavior... he had a really bad day. Syd isn't interested in hearing it, she thinks it's just a drunk's excuse. No, really, Ted insists, he just go the test results back and... oh, never mind. Syd is interested in the test results. Ted admits that Huntington's Disease runs in his family (a degenerative disease that attacks the brain and motor control... there is no cure) and he just found out that he has it too. He had been sober for three months, but the test results sent him over the edge. Syd asks if the team knows about this. Ted says they don't, but his dad didn't get sick until he was 25, and Ted is only 21, so he figures he has four good years left. Syd asks if the team has a right to know. Ted says that all he has is baseball, and he wants to chase his dream for a little bit longer. Syd agrees to keep mum, but tells Ted that there will be absolutely no more drinking. Ted agrees.
Robbie and Joanie are chatting in the kitchen. Joanie asks Robbie if he talked to Jim about the fact that they won't be doing anymore filmed Pet Talks. Robbie says it's under control. Jim runs in with notes for his next show, all excited after getting a phone call from a guy who hadn't cleaned his dog's ears in nine years. He says he's even hired a voice and speech coach. When he leaves the kitchen, Joanie turns to Robbie asking him if this is what he meant by under control. Robbie says he couldn't break Jim's heart 'cause he was so excited. Joanie looks at Jim's notes and notices that he wants to clip a dog's nails on the air. Augh!
Syd spies on Kyle and Tracy. Kyle is getting really frustrated with writing, and Tracy tries to sooth him with a backrub. Syd's mom shows up and helps Syd to believe that what she's spying on is less than innocent. Syd wakes up from her dream to hear Kyle yelling. She goes to his room, and Kyle's phantom limb is causing him so much pain that he's crying. He begs Syd to make the pain go away, but all she can do is hold him.
Syd explains phantom limb pain to Joanie. Joanie asks if Syd can still see a future with Kyle. Syd is offended that Joanie even asked: it's just his arm, it doesn't change who he is. Syd is concerned because she has to tell Kyle something and she doesn't want to. Joanie says that she should just lie and not tell him... women have been lying to men since the beginning of time.
Syd goes to talk to Kyle who is practicing bouncing a ball of a wall with his left arm. Syd recommends to Kyle that he stay home, cancel his appointment with Tracy, and just catch up on his sleep after the hard night he had last night. On her way to her car, Syd reassures Kyle that she still feels the same way abut him as she did before his surgery. Kyle starts to say that he knows he's been distant, but then asks Syd for the her signature on the form for Ted's physical. Syd says she's still waiting for some test results, but as soon as they're in he'll have her signature. Kyle asks her if she wants to hang out tonight and she says she'd like that.
Jim is getting ready for his next Pet Talk, and Robbie is trying to coach him to look at the camera rather than the dog, and not use too many complicated words, but Jim doesn't pay much attention to him.
Dan Freed takes Syd out to lunch. After talking up what a good soul Ted is, he mentions that Ted told him that Ted told Syd about the Huntington's. Syd says yes, and of course she won't tell anyone because of doctor/patient privilege, which Dan already knew, so why is she really here. Dan admires her get-to-the-point attitude, and just says that he hopes he'll have her signature on the form soon, because delays make people nervous. Syd says she's just waiting for one more test result and then she'll be done. Dan's cell phone rings. It's Ted. Dan reassures Ted that Syd just told him there wouldn't be any problems, and then excuses himself to talk to Ted privately. Syd pulls out her cell phone and adds one more test to Ted's bloodwork: a genetic test for Huntington's Disease.
Jim is doing another mind-numbing show, clipping a dog's nails on the air. Suddenly, another large shaggy dog nearby starts to choke. Jim performs the Heimlich and dog coughs up a rubber ball. Joanie and Robbie are elated at the drama.
Joanie finds Tracy's jacket on the front porch and gets into a conversation with Syd about Syd being jealous of Tracy spending so much time with Kyle. Syd insists she's not jealous.
Syd comes into Kyle's room. He has the lights dimmed, candles burning, and romantic music playing. The first thing he asks about is the form. Syd says she's still waiting for that one last test result. Syd picks up some of Kyle's writing from the table and he gets embarassed and asks her not to look at it. Kyle opens a bottle of champagne, and when Syd compliments the skill with which he did so he gets defensive. They sip champagne and start to kiss. Syd starts to slide her hand inside Kyle's shirt and Kyle flips out, asking her what she thinks she's doing. Syd stammers, and tries to say that nothing's changed, but Kyle insists that everything has changed and kicks Syd out of his room.
Jim's veterinary office is a madhouse. Joanie and Robbie are working the phones. Syd comes in and asks if anyone saw Kyle leave, 'cause all his stuff is gone. Jim says he saw Kyle last night and he went back to Jamestown. Syd asks her dad if they can talk privately. In Jim's office, Syd asks him if there's anyway she can get around the patient/doctor confidentiality clause to tell Kyle about the Huntington's. Jim says she's probably even crossing the line just by telling him. Jim mentions that he recently read about a young basketball player in Rhode Island that was just diagnosed and his father dies three months ago. Syd comments on how rare it is, and two have to cases together like this is highly unusual. Syd gets a phone call and finds out that Ted's blood work is back.
Syd finds Kyle on a dock. They talk about how frustrated he is with relearning how to live minus an arm. Syd says that she has something she needs to talk about with Kyle regarding Ted's form. Kyle says they got another doctor to sign off on it 'cause she was taking too long. The deal closed this morning and he's actually on his way now to meet Ted and Dan to celebrate. He asks her if they can have dinner later.
Syd and Joanie are getting ready to watch Jim's shows. Syd sees Tracy outside looking for her coat. Syd goes outside and tells Tracy off for pushing Kyle too hard. Tracy says that's what she's supposed to be doing, and Syd hold Kyle's hand isn't going to help him. He can't be protected from the real world, he has to learn how to cope with it. Syd runs inside and tells Joanie she has to go do something and takes off.
Joanie and Robbie watch the show with Jim. They're all very pleased. Jim goes to answer the phone and Joanie and Robbie start talking about taking Jim's show and Barkery national. Then they realize that they can't always arrange for a dog to choke during every episode. How are they going to recreate the magic?
Syd interrupts Kyle's celebration with Ted and Dan and calls the baseball player and his slimy agent out as faking Ted's Huntington's to cover his alcoholism. Dan tries to talk to Kyle and tell him how it's a much bigger deal than that, and this signing could make Kyle's career. Ted goes so far as to tell Kyle that this signing could keep him from being a big loser. Kyle gets pissed and quite effectively punches Ted with his good arm.
Joanie and Robbie are watching Ted on TV happily annouce his signing with the Cougars, a Japanese team.
Syd meets up with Kyle and they go for a walk. Kyle tells Syd that he quit his job, and wants to take some time to figure out his future. Kyle tells Syd that he knows he's been a nightmare recently, and apologizes and thanks her for putting up with him. He pulls a homemade card out of his pocket and gives it to her. Inside, in his shaky left-hand handwriting, is "Syd + Kyle" in a heart. Syd gets tears in her eyes and they kiss and embrace.
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