Synopsis of You Can't Hurry Love
Written by TK
In a dream, Syd wakes up, goes downstairs, and steps outside the front door to get the newspaper. She is immediately attacked by a huge number of reporters all asking about her relationship with Kyle: whether they're lovers, just friends, or what. Her mother is in the melee, and when Sydney calls to her for help her mother says that the reporters are right, America has the right to know. Sydney screams and wakes up for real. She looks around, making sure of where she is, and then hides beneath the covers of her bed.
Robbie and Joanie are in the kitchen rustling up breakfast. Robbie mentions that he stopped by the Barkery last night because he thought he left his wallet there, and he saw Doug sleeping on a dog bed. Joanie says that Doug is between apartments right now, and she told him he could sleep there. Robbie says he's strange and that he barked at him like a dog. Joanie says Doug is a little strange, but harmless. Robbie isn't so sure about the harmless part.
Kyle asks Sydney to meet him at an outdoor equipment store. When she shows up, he shows her the really cool tent he wants to get. He says that the time has come to make some decisions, and he has decided that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He says he's not good with the big romantic gestures, but he'd like to take her camping in the Grand Canyon for two weeks. Syd is understandably a little surprised and tells Kyle that she'd like to think about it.
Robbie comes by his dad's office and Heather is very cold to him. Robbie chats with his dad, and they talk about how much Heather still hates Robbie, and probably will until lots of time goes by... or, Robbie's wise father suggests, until she gets a boyfriend. This gives Robbie an idea.
Joanie walks into the Barkery and calls out for Doug, but all she finds is his empty dog bed with a mostly empty bag of pigs ears in it. Doug comes in with a shaggy dog on a leash. Joanie says that maybe he shouldn't be eating so many pigs ears 'cause they're not really for human consumption. Doug says they're just fine, and assures Joanie that he paid for them. Joanie asks where he got the dog and he says he found her as a stray on the street corner and named her Sheila because she reminded him of a girl named Sheila that he used to know. He hopes they can maybe put a poster in the window and find Sheila a good home. Joanie suggests that he take the dog to her dad to have it checked out first. As Doug is on his way out the door, Joanie asks if he saw Robbie's wallet around. Doug says he found it on the patio, takes it out of his pocket and gives it to Joanie.
In the clinic, Sydney is struggling with a violent drunk middle-aged woman. Before the woman passes out she glares at Sydney and says, "How could you do this to your own mother?" Sydney says that the woman is severely dehydrated and probably has a large problem with alcohol. She has the nurse have the woman transferred to county.
Doug brings Sheila into Jim's office. Jim is impressed with Doug's knowledge of dogs. Jim says he'd be happy to check the dog out, and comments that the dog seems to be in really good health for a stray. Doug seems a bit nervous when Jim questions him about where he found the dog.
Sydney comes by county to check up on the alcoholic woman she had sent over. The woman is unconscious and resting peacefully. Syd looks at her chart and notes that her blood sugar levels are way too high. Then she examines the woman and recognizes the signs of an expensive plastic surgery job on her eyes. The only ID the woman has is a card that invites her to the wedding of Megan Lombard. Syd remembers that she went to high school with Megan Lombard and then realizes that the woman she has been treating is Megan's mother, and Megan's parents used to be friendly with her parents.
Kyle is setting up a whole bunch of camping equipment in the back yard, and Syd walks by. She hopes that Kyle didn't buy all of this stuff, and Kyle says he rented most of it, except he just had to buy the tent. Syd says she hasn't made up her mind yet, and the idea of spending two weeks alone in a tent with Kyle is a little intimidating, never mind making love with a man for the first time in a tent. He realizes that the whole camping thing might not be the best way to kick off their relationship, buys a clue, and suggests they get a room at a nearby inn for a night. Syd says that would be perfect.
Joanie gives Robbie his wallet back, and Robbie comments that it's short forty dollars. Joanie is sure that Doug didn't take it, but Robbie says if she doesn't say something to Doug about it then he will. Joanie says she'll take care of it.
Syd is back checking on Mrs. Lombard, and gets there just in time to see Mrs. Lombard rushing out of the hospital talking about needing a drink. Sydney tries to stop her, reminding the woman of her friendship with Syd's parents. Mrs. Lombard says Syd must be mistaking her for someone else, and when Syd insists, she says she didn't much like Syd's parents anyway. Syd tells Mrs. Lombard that she has diabetes, and drinking could kill her. Mrs. Lomard doesn't care and starts to leave. Syd asks Mrs. Lombard to send her congratulations to Megan on her marriage. Mrs. Lombard says she's not going to the wedding, and jokes that she doesn't really have the wardrobe for it.
Joanie mentions the forty dollars to Doug. Doug is mystic, and just tells Joanie that he hopes she can trust him.
Robbie notices that one of his co-workers at the bar is a complete clutz like Heather. He tells his co-worker that he wants to set him up with this great girl, and asks him if he has a dog. The guy happily says that he does.
Jim comes into his office and asks Heather if she's had any luck figuring out where Sheila came from. Heather says the dog has no tags and no ID tattoo. Jim pulls out a scanner he just bought that checks for the latest in dog ID technology: an embedded microchip. It turns out that Sheila does have one and they now have the dog's phone number and address.
Syd has a dream in which she's having a late night snack with her mother. She asks her mother why Mrs. Lombard would hate her, and her mother reminds her of when she used to spy on her parents late-night card parties. Syd remembers the Lombards coming over (Evelyn and Tom) to play cards. During one game, Jim comments that maybe Evelyn played the wrong card. Evelyn asks Jim if he's accusing her of cheating. Jim says that he's just suggesting she made a mistake. Lynda comments on how Evelyn's drunk and probably doesn't know better, and the two couples end up fighting the Lombards storm out. Syd wakes up from her dream to find herself asleep at the kitchen table over a game of solitaire.
Jim comes in from his morning walk and comments to Joanie that Doug seems a bit weird. Joanie gets more and more worried about Doug.
Jim and Heather are talking in his office. They haven't been able to get ahold of Sheila's owner yet, so they're going to get in touch with animal control.
Robbie's co-worker, Charlie Abbott, comes in to get his dog seen by Dr. Hansen and immediately hits it off with Heather.
Syd goes to Mrs. Lombard's apartment with some clothes for the woman to wear to her daughter's wedding. She pours out Mrs. Lombard's bottle of vodka and gives her a bottle of pills to take. Mrs. Lombard doesn't appreciate the help and tells Syd to leave her alone. Syd recommends to Mrs. Lombard that if she really wants to drink herself to death, she should at least wait until after Megan's wedding. She drops the clothes on the couch and says that now Mrs. Lombard doesn't have any more excuses not to attend.
At work, Joanie tells Doug that she needs some basic info from him for the IRS. He reminds her that she told him he didn't need a resume. She says he doesn't, but she just needs some info for the government. He starts to make up crazy stories about his childhood to get her to laugh and never really answers her questions.
A man from animal control named Hank comes by and says that he knows the dog, and its name is Crash. But he's not actually there to pick up the dog... he wants to know more about the guy who found the dog. The dog wasn't a stray, it was actually released from an animal control van. This has been happening a lot lately, and eyewitnesses say that it's always done by the same man. Jim takes Hank into his office to talk about Doug.
Syd and Joanie are out together, and Syd is stressing about her upcoming night at an inn with Kyle. She feels awkward about the fact that she's also sort of his doctor. Joanie gives her a present of love nectar, an oil that you heat up and rub your lover with and it enhances the mood.
Syd and Kyle are at the inn. She offers to massage him. He lies down, she turns out the lights and stubs her toe getting to the bed. When whe pours the oil on him, she burns his back. They realize they're sort of forcing things and the timing isn't right so they call of their romantic evening.
Joanie is playing with Hannah and Jim comes in and tells her that Doug has been freeing dogs from animal control vans for some time now. He says that the cops are looking for Doug. Jim told the cops that Joanie knew Doug, but not specifically that he worked at the Barkery.
Charlie comes into work and thanks Robbie for setting him up with Heather. He says Heather is amazing, and talks about how she was an olympic gymnast (and did this cool backflip off his bed) and donated half of her trust fund to the homeless. Robbie learns all sorts of cool things about Heather that he didn't know.
Joanie is in the Barkery closing up when a cop comes by. She tells the cop that Doug left town.
Mrs. Lombard comes by the clinic and returns the clothes to Syd. She says she is absolutely not going to the wedding, it's too late to repair her relationship with her daughter. She asks Syd why she's so persistent, and Syd says that she felt distant from her own mother when her own mother dies, and hopes that the same thing won't happen to Megan. Mrs. Lombard feels like it's an impossible task to reconnect with her daughter, but Sydney assures her she can just take it one day at a time.
Joanie meets Doug away from the Barkery and tells him the cops are looking for him. She gives him some severance pay and tells him that he should probably get out of town. He finally opens up to her, telling her how he was more or less raised by his dog Mel. He leaves Joanie with a kiss on the forehead.
Joanie finds Robbie at the bar more or less crying in beer. She asks him who the girl is, and he says that she wouldn't believe him if he told her. Joanie tells Robbie that Doug left, and gives him forty dollars to make up for what Doug took. Robbie tells her that he realized that Doug didn't take the money, he actually leant it to a friend after work.
Kyle is setting up his tent in the back yard again when Syd comes by. They both apologize to each other for the previous night. Kyle admits that his rush to consummate their relationship really had a lot do with his fear of dying. Syd reassures him that she felt like they were both forcing it. They laugh together, and Kyle says that either it'll happen, or it won't, and either way is okay. They kiss, start making out, and then go to curl up in his tent.
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